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Everyone needs a go to person. What is a go to person? A go to person is someone that you look up to and someone that provides sound advice throughout your athletic career. I could use the term mentor, but I prefer to use the term ‘go to person’ as it better describes this individual. It’s that someone you go to when an obstacle comes your way.
Your go to person should be someone that is older and has gone down a similar road that you are currently on; someone that was an athlete and has witnessed the obstacles that can make you fail; someone that cares for your career, and someone that is willing to hurt your feelings by letting you know if he sees a decline in focus or effort from you. He is someone that will let you know if you are making wrong decisions!
I can’t tell you how many players do not make it to their peak and do not play at the highest level because they don’t have that go to person. As you get older, more and more obstacles come your way. There are distractions that sometimes you can’t see and may think are normal. Team issues that you find difficult to handle can arise! A go to person can help you overcome these obstacles and keep you focused on your goals.
Today I meet so many older soccer players that grew up with the drive, the skill and the mental toughness to play at the top. But somewhere along the line their careers got derailed because they had no one to talk to who was older, wiser and who had their best interest at heart. Most of these players wish they knew back then what they know now. But if they had a respected go to person that was experienced in an athlete’s life, they could have avoided the small things that contributed to a career that never really reached its potential.
I currently act as a go to person to my students and can see the positive effects it has. My students know that I am watching and will step in if I see that an obstacle is not being conquered in the right way, or if they’re simply trying to side step that obstacle. They also know I am there for them when needed. I look for negatives and positives and point them out. I look for other athletes’ failures and use them as examples of what not to do. I look for other athletes’ accomplishments and use them as inspiration. An athlete without a go to person only sees his or her world.
Can a parent be a go to person? Sometimes they can… but most times they cannot. We all go through stages in life when we don’t listen to our parents and think we know everything. It is during these times when major obstacles often come our way. The teenage years are when we need the most mental help and guidance, and that’s when we need a go to person the most. Mom and Dad are already trying to steer you through life in general. The added load of steering you through the athletic maze is hard for any parent to do.
Following is an example: John is a talented soccer player without a go to person. He shows up to training and the coach puts him with the weaker group of players to challenge him when playing in intra squad team games. A confused John goes home and vents to his Mom and Dad and expresses that the coach doesn’t like him and that he is being treated unfairly and deserves to be with the better players. Mom and Dad tell him to go back and work hard so he will be placed with the better team. But John thinks, “It’s just Mom and Dad. What do they know? They never played soccer before and they have no clue in this case.” He shows up to the next practice and has an attitude towards the coach and starts to talk negatively to his teammates about the coach and the team. The coach picks up on this behavior and sits him for the remainder of the season. Eventually, he leaves the team and has a sour experience that leads him to lose the passion for the sport, thus beginning a downward spiral that eventually leads to quitting the game completely.
If John had a go to person that he respected, then everything could have been different. Taking the advice of a go to person that has experienced life and sport could have made the outcome of this situation completely different, even though the advice would have been much the same as his parents’ advice. Our parents advise us on all kinds of things in life, but when it comes to sport, it’s just better to have an outside person that you can go to; a person you look up to; a person that has been there.
This is just one example of an obstacle that can pop up in your career, but there are so many others that you may face. The way in which you handle these obstacles is key to how your future will unfold. With sound advice from your go to person, you can knock these obstacles over with intelligence and dignity. Don’t be another person that gets lost in the maze that athletes go through. Your go to person can help you navigate through the maze and significantly increase your chances of succeeding. Without that go to person, your chances of making it significantly decrease!
James Galanis
Director of Soccer Operations
Universal Soccer Academy
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